How to Answer the 'A Quick Rant About' Hinge Prompt

Rants can be sexy when done right. Here are 93 ways to complain about life without seeming like a negative person on dating apps.

7 min read

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I'm Paw Markus and everyone has things that piss them off. The trick is ranting without sounding like you need anger management therapy.

Here are 93 rants that show passion without the red flags.

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How to Answer A Quick Rant About

The secret to a good rant on a dating app? Be passionate, not pissy. Show you care about things without sounding like you complain at restaurants. Pick topics that reveal personality, not just pet peeves.

Copy These 'A Quick Rant About' Answers

  • People who say 'money can't buy happiness' have clearly never paid rent or bought good cheese.
  • How streaming services turned into cable TV with extra steps and monthly fees.
  • The fact that we have self-driving cars but I still can't find matching socks after laundry.
  • People who leave one second on the microwave instead of hitting clear. Chaos incarnate.
  • How 'networking' became code for 'pretend to like people for professional gain.'
  • The way everyone became a photographer after Instagram launched but nobody learned composition.
  • People who reply 'K' to paragraphs. Use your words, we're not texting in 2003.
  • How adult friendships require scheduling appointments to hang out spontaneously.
  • The fact that printers can smell fear and choose violence accordingly.
  • People who don't return shopping carts. It's the ultimate test of human decency.
  • How 'authentic' became the most inauthentic word in marketing.
  • The way LinkedIn turned into Facebook with career anxiety.
  • People who blast music through phone speakers in public. Headphones exist for a reason.
  • How every app needs location access to function, even calculator apps apparently.
  • The fact that 'influencer' became a real job but teachers still need second jobs.
  • People who take phone calls on speaker in public spaces. We didn't consent to your drama.
  • How 'self-care' became an excuse to buy expensive things instead of addressing problems.
  • The way everyone's an expert after reading one article but won't listen to actual experts.
  • People who say 'no offense' before saying something obviously offensive.
  • How dating apps turned romance into a job application process.
  • The fact that we can order food with our voices but still can't figure out traffic lights.
  • People who leave dishes in the sink 'to soak' for three days straight.
  • How every subscription service costs $9.99 but you need seventeen of them to function.
  • The way 'vintage' now means anything from five years ago.
  • People who don't signal when driving. Mind reading isn't a standard feature yet.
  • How 'artisanal' water exists while some places don't have clean drinking water.
  • The fact that we have video calls but people still can't figure out mute buttons.
  • People who start sentences with 'Not to be racist, but...' then say something racist.
  • How everything is 'disrupting' something instead of just being a slightly different service.
  • The way 'organic' became code for 'costs three times more for unclear benefits.'

Passionate Rants That Show You Care

These rants reveal what you actually give a damn about beyond surface-level annoyances. They show depth without being preachy.

Copy These Passionate Rant Answers

  • How we have the technology to solve climate change but not the political will to use it.
  • The way mental health is treated like a luxury instead of basic healthcare.
  • How education funding gets cut while sports stadiums get billion-dollar renovations.
  • The fact that insulin costs more than gold in some places. Diabetes isn't a lifestyle choice.
  • How we built cities for cars instead of humans and now wonder why everyone's stressed.
  • The way affordable housing disappeared while investment properties multiply.
  • How student loans have turned higher education into a debt trap for generations.
  • The fact that we throw away enough food to feed everyone but people still go hungry.
  • How healthcare bankruptcy exists in the richest countries in the world.
  • The way we normalize 60-hour work weeks while productivity has tripled since the 1970s.
  • How public libraries are closing while tax breaks for corporations expand.
  • The fact that we have empty houses and homeless people in the same neighborhoods.
  • How financial literacy isn't taught in schools but credit cards are marketed to teenagers.
  • The way we treat teachers like babysitters instead of the professionals shaping society.
  • How environmental protection gets labeled as 'radical' when it's literally survival.
  • The fact that maternity leave is still controversial while other countries guarantee it.
  • How we criminalize addiction instead of treating it as a public health issue.
  • The way minimum wage hasn't kept pace with living costs for decades.
  • How we build prisons faster than schools and call it 'tough on crime.'
  • The fact that clean water access isn't guaranteed globally while bottled water is profitable.
  • How we subsidize industries that pollute while renewable energy fights for funding.
  • The way elder care is treated like a family burden instead of a community responsibility.
  • How we expect perfection from teenagers while adults can't figure out basic empathy.

Funny Rants That Don't Cross Lines

Sometimes the best rants are the ones that make people laugh while nodding along. These show humor without punching down.

Copy These Humorous Rant Answers

  • The fact that 'quick' recipes require 47 ingredients I don't have and three hours of prep.
  • How workout videos always say 'just 10 minutes!' but never mention the warm-up and cool-down.
  • People who post gym selfies with captions about 'loving the journey' while clearly flexing.
  • The way cooking shows make everything look easy until you try it and summon smoke demons.
  • How every 'beginner-friendly' tutorial assumes you already know the advanced stuff.
  • The fact that 'some assembly required' means 'good luck with your engineering degree.'
  • People who say 'money isn't everything' while driving cars that cost more than houses.
  • How 'follow your passion' advice comes from people whose passion was having rich parents.
  • The way 'natural' products contain more chemicals than a science lab.
  • People who humble-brag about being 'too busy' like it's a personality trait.
  • How every productivity hack requires buying something to be more minimalist.
  • The fact that 'authentic' restaurants all have the same Edison bulb aesthetic.
  • People who say 'I'm brutally honest' when they're just brutal without the honesty.
  • How every life coach discovered the secret to happiness after their own breakdown.
  • The way 'curated' became fancy talk for 'I picked some stuff.'
  • People who treat their dietary choices like religious movements.
  • How 'sustainable fashion' costs more than normal clothes that last half as long.
  • The fact that 'mindfulness' apps send you notifications to remember to be present.
  • People who say 'everything happens for a reason' to explain away preventable problems.
  • How 'disruption' usually means making existing things more expensive and complicated.
  • The way 'wellness' became code for selling expensive solutions to manufactured problems.
  • People who start diets on Mondays as if Tuesday calories don't count.
  • How 'work-life balance' advice comes from people who've never worked retail.
  • The fact that 'life hacks' are just normal activities with aggressive marketing.
  • People who say 'good vibes only' while spreading the most toxic positivity.
  • How 'self-made' billionaires all had small loans of several million dollars.
  • The way 'vintage' items cost more than they did when they were new.
  • People who treat coffee preferences like moral philosophies.
  • How 'sustainable' products come wrapped in seventeen layers of plastic packaging.
  • The fact that 'intuitive' software requires a PhD to understand.
  • People who say 'just be yourself' then judge you for being yourself.
  • How 'farm-to-table' restaurants charge extra for doing what restaurants used to do normally.
  • The way 'clean eating' somehow requires dirty amounts of money.
  • People who complain about 'participation trophies' while buying fake awards for their offices.
  • How 'life is short' is used to justify both YOLO spending and workaholic behavior.
  • The fact that 'smart' devices require constant updates to remain basic-level functional.
  • People who say 'it's not about the money' while clearly making everything about money.
  • How 'artisan' became code for 'we made it more complicated and expensive.'
  • The way 'experiences over things' became an excuse to spend money on overpriced experiences.
  • People who treat their personality types like astrological signs but with more corporate backing.

The Art of the Attractive Rant

A good rant shows passion, intelligence, and humor without making you seem impossible to please. It reveals your values while keeping things light enough for a dating app.

The key is caring about something bigger than yourself without coming across as someone who complains about everything. Pick topics that matter to you, add some humor, and show you can be passionate without being exhausting.

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