How to Respond to "Hey" (11 Proven Ways That Actually Work)

Getting a "hey" message is like someone knocking on your door and then just standing there when you answer. It's frustrating as hell, especially when you've put effort into your dating profile only to get the conversational equivalent of a grunt.

Look, I get it. You want to respond because hey, they showed interest. But you also don't want to reward lazy messaging with a paragraph-long response that makes you look desperate. The good news? I've tested these response strategies across different dating apps to see what actually gets conversations moving beyond dead-end small talk.

TL;DR: • Mirror their energy level to set boundaries while staying positive • Ask about interests from their profile to show genuine engagement
• Use playful challenges or questions to spark meaningful conversation • Know when not to respond if they're consistently low-effort

Why People Send "Hey" Messages (Understanding the Psychology)

Before we dive into responses, it helps to understand why people default to "hey" in the first place. Most of the time, it's not because they're lazy assholes (though sometimes they are).

Fear of rejection plays a huge role. When you send a thoughtful message referencing someone's profile, you're putting yourself out there. A "hey" feels safer because if they don't respond, you can tell yourself it wasn't really personal.

Some people genuinely don't know what else to say. They see your photos, think you're attractive, but panic when it comes to crafting an opening line. They're not trying to waste your time; they're just socially awkward.

Then there's the numbers game crowd. These people send "hey" to fifty matches hoping five will respond. Their strategy is volume over quality, which usually means they're not that invested in actually getting to know you.

The key is figuring out which category they fall into. A shy person who sends "hey" but has an interesting profile deserves a different response than someone with three bathroom selfies and no bio.

11 Proven Ways to Respond to "Hey"

Mirror Their Energy Level

Sometimes the best response is giving them exactly what they gave you. Reply with "Hey!" and throw in an exclamation point to show you're not being bitchy about it.

This strategy works because it sets a boundary without being rude. You're essentially saying, "I'll match your effort level." If they want more from you, they need to bring more to the table.

Use this approach when their profile shows potential but their opener doesn't. It gives them a chance to step up their game without you having to carry the entire conversation from the start.

Ask About Their Day or Weekend Plans

"How's your Tuesday treating you?" "What's your weekend looking like?" "Hope your day's been better than mine so far" "Any exciting plans coming up?" "Tell me the highlight of your day" "What's keeping you busy these days?" "How are you surviving this Monday?" "What's the most interesting thing that happened to you today?" "Any fun weekend adventures?" "How's life treating you lately?"

These responses work because they're easy to answer but require more than a one-word response. You're not demanding they write an essay, just asking them to share something about their current life.

The key is asking follow-up questions based on what they tell you. If they mention work stress, ask what they do. If they talk about weekend plans, ask for details. Show you're actually listening to their answers.

Reference Something from Their Profile

This is where you separate yourself from everyone else sliding into their DMs. Pick something specific from their photos or bio and use it as conversation fuel.

"Is that dog in your third photo as much trouble as they look?" "That hiking trail in your pics looks incredible, where was that taken?" "Your bio mentions you're into cooking, what's your go-to dish when you want to impress someone?" "I see you're a teacher, elementary or high school? I'm trying to figure out your patience level" "That concert photo looks amazing, who were you seeing?" "Your travel pics are making me jealous, which trip was your favorite?" "I noticed you work in marketing too, please tell me you also hate the phrase 'circle back'" "That coffee shop in your background looks like my kind of place, what's their best drink?" "Your bio says you're new to the city, how are you liking it so far?" "I see you're into photography, is that just a hobby or something more serious?"

This approach shows you actually looked at their profile instead of just swiping on their first photo. It also gives them something specific to talk about, which makes their job easier. Better dating profile photos give you more material to work with, so make sure yours are doing the same favor for people messaging you.

Ask for Their Opinion

People love sharing their opinions, especially about topics they're passionate about. The trick is asking about something that reveals personality without getting too heavy.

"Quick question: pineapple on pizza, yes or no? I need to know if we can be friends" "What's your take on people who don't return their shopping carts?" "Coffee or tea person? This is important" "Would you rather have the ability to fly or be invisible?" "What's the most overrated movie everyone seems to love?" "Sweet or salty snacks when you're stress eating?" "Morning person or night owl? I'm trying to figure out if we're compatible" "What's your unpopular food opinion?" "Book or movie adaptation, which is usually better?" "What's something everyone should try at least once?"

Opinion questions work because there's no wrong answer, which makes people more comfortable responding. They also give you insight into someone's personality and values without feeling like a job interview.

Challenge Them with a Fun Game

Turn the conversation into something interactive. People respond well to friendly competition and games because it's more engaging than standard small talk.

"Two truths and a lie, go. I'll guess which one you made up" "Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?" "Quick game: I'll give you three random words and you tell me a story using all of them" "Dare you to send me your most embarrassing Spotify song" "What's your weirdest talent? I bet I can top it" "If you could have dinner with anyone dead or alive, who and why?" "Challenge: describe your perfect day in exactly 10 words" "Would you rather always speak in rhyme or sing everything you say?" "Quick, what's the first thing you'd do if you won the lottery tomorrow?" "Rate my bio on a scale of 1-10, but you have to explain your reasoning"

Games and challenges work because they're naturally engaging. Instead of trading information back and forth, you're creating a shared experience right from the start.

Give a Thoughtful Compliment

Skip the generic "you're beautiful" comments and focus on something that shows you actually paid attention. The goal is making them feel seen, not just physically attractive.

"Your smile in that second photo is absolutely infectious" "I love that you included a picture with your grandpa, that's really sweet" "Your bio made me laugh out loud, you seem like you'd be fun to hang out with" "You have great taste in books based on that shelf behind you" "That volunteer work you mentioned is really cool, not many people do that" "Your style is amazing, you clearly know what works for you" "I can tell from your photos that you're someone who makes their friends laugh" "Your dog clearly adores you, which says a lot about your character" "That art on your wall is incredible, did you pick that out yourself?" "You seem like someone who's genuinely confident in who they are, which is refreshing"

The key is being specific and genuine. Generic compliments feel copy-pasted. Specific ones show you actually looked at their profile. Learn more about how to compliment a girl's picture properly.

Use a Clever Pickup Line

Pickup lines get a bad rap, but the right one can be genuinely entertaining. The best pickup lines reference something specific about their profile or use humor that matches your personality.

"Are you my appendix? Because I have this gut feeling I should take you out" "Do you believe in love at first swipe, or should I unmatch and match again?" "I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn't get a reaction" "Are you WiFi? Because I'm feeling a connection" "If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber" "Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte" "Are you Google? Because you've got everything I'm searching for" "If we were at Hogwarts, I'd totally ask you to the Yule Ball" "Are you a 45-degree angle? Because you're acute-y" "I'm not photographer, but I can definitely picture us together"

The secret to pickup lines is delivery and timing. Use them when someone's profile suggests they appreciate humor. Avoid them if they seem more serious or professional. Check out more best rizz pickup lines that actually work.

Call Them Out Playfully

Sometimes acknowledging the elephant in the room with humor can be disarming. The key word here is playfully. You want to tease, not attack.

"Wow, 'hey,' such creativity! I'm clearly dealing with a wordsmith here 😏" "Hey back! Now that we've exchanged pleasantries, what's your story?" "Let me guess, you spent hours crafting that opening message? 😄" "Hey to you too! So tell me something interesting about yourself" "Points for consistency, but I'm gonna need a little more to work with here" "Hey! Now help me out, what should I be excited about when it comes to you?" "Well hey there! What's something about you that would surprise me?" "Hey right back! Now give me your best fun fact" "I appreciate the classic opener, but what's your most unpopular opinion?" "Hey! Now hit me with something I can't learn from your photos"

This approach works best when you use humor to acknowledge what happened without making them feel bad about it. You're giving them a chance to step up while showing you have personality.

Send a GIF or Emoji Response

Sometimes a visual response can be more engaging than words. The right GIF or emoji combination can convey personality and humor without much effort.

Use a waving GIF that matches your vibe, whether that's enthusiastic, sarcastic, or somewhere in between. Popular options include celebrities waving, cartoon characters, or animals doing something cute.

For emojis, try combinations like "👋😊" for friendly, "👋🤔" for curious, or "👋😏" for playful. You can also use relevant emojis based on their profile, like "🎸" if they play guitar or "📚" if they mention reading.

The benefit of visual responses is they're quick and easy, but they still show more personality than just texting "hey" back. The downside is they don't give much to build conversation on, so be prepared to follow up with something more substantial.

Use Humor to Break the Ice

Humor is probably your best tool for turning a boring "hey" into an actual conversation. The trick is finding the right type of humor for the situation.

"Hey! So... do we just keep saying hey until one of us cracks and says something interesting? I vote you go first" "Hey back! This is the part where we pretend to have chemistry through text messages, right?" "Well hello there! Are you always this verbose? 😄" "Hey! Random question: if you had to describe yourself using only movie titles, what would they be?" "Hey to you too! Now quick, convince me you're more interesting than the last person who opened with 'hey'" "Hello! Fun fact: this is the 47th 'hey' I've received today. Make it memorable" "Hey! I'm going to need you to step up your game because my mom always told me I deserve better than one-word conversations" "Well hey! Since we're being so formal, should I ask about the weather next?" "Hey back! So are you more of a 'deep meaningful conversation' person or a 'send memes back and forth' person?" "Hey! Plot twist: I actually don't know how to respond to that. Help a person out?"

Self-deprecating humor often works well because it shows you don't take yourself too seriously. Just don't go overboard and make yourself seem desperate or insecure.

Know When Not to Respond

Here's something most people won't tell you: sometimes the best response is no response. If someone consistently sends low-effort messages, has an empty profile, or gives you bad vibes, you don't owe them your time.

Red flags that suggest you should skip responding include: profiles with no bio, all group photos where you can't tell who they are, photos that look old or heavily filtered, or profiles that seem fake.

Also trust your gut. If something feels off about their profile or if they're sending the same message to everyone, save your energy for people who seem genuinely interested in getting to know you.

Remember, your time and attention have value. Don't waste them on people who aren't willing to put in basic effort.

Pros and Cons of Different Response Strategies

Pros:

Mirroring energy sets healthy boundaries while keeping doors open for genuine connection. You're not being rude, but you're also not rewarding lazy behavior with excessive effort.

Profile-based responses show you're genuinely interested and help you stand out from generic messages. When someone gets dozens of matches, the person who actually read their profile will be memorable.

Playful challenges and games create immediate engagement and reveal personality compatibility. Instead of boring small talk, you're finding out if you actually enjoy talking to each other.

Opinion-based questions lead to meaningful conversations that go beyond surface-level small talk. You learn about their values and preferences without feeling like you're conducting an interview.

Having multiple response strategies gives you options based on their profile and your mood. Some days you want to be playful, other days you want to be more direct.

Cons:

Some strategies require more effort than others, which might not always match your available time or energy level. Reading profiles and crafting personalized responses takes more work than sending a quick emoji.

Playful approaches might not work with everyone, especially those looking for more serious connections or those who don't appreciate humor in dating apps.

Turn "Hey" Into Meaningful Conversations That Lead to Dates

The key to handling "hey" messages isn't having the perfect response. It's understanding that you have options and your time has value. Some people who send "hey" are genuinely worth talking to; they're just shy or don't know what else to say. Others are mass messaging everyone they swiped right on.

Your job is figuring out which is which and responding accordingly. Show genuine interest when someone seems worth it, but don't be afraid to be selective. The right person will appreciate your standards and step up their game.

Quality photos make people more likely to put effort into their opening messages in the first place. When your profile shows personality and gives people something to work with, you'll get fewer lazy "hey" messages overall.

Want to upgrade your dating photos so you receive higher-quality opening messages? Check out GetDates.ai for AI-generated photos that look completely natural and will make you stand out on any dating app.